A 5 year old bully! WHAT?

I just had tea with a close friend of mine that was distressed over a situation her daughter encountered at school. She explained that she had witnessed a little girl loudly shout at a classmate, "Why did you hug her?" The victim stated that she hugged her because she was her friend. The bully replied, "I don't want you hugging her, or I won't talk to you ever again." The victim looked dumbfounded and anxious. My friends daughter was the hugee and also felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation. Over the next few weeks the bullying escalated from "I won't talk to you," to spitting on other girls at the school including my friends child. Actions were taken to speak to the teacher to monitor the bully and yet still things went from bad to worse with very little changes being made. My friend asked that a meeting be called between the teacher and the parents of the bullying child so that they can all have an open discussion about appropriate behavior/consequences etc. The teacher explained that she had had a chat with the bully's parents and they are hoping things will get better. My question is why is there even a consideration for tolerating this behavior? If I were to spit on someone out of anger or frustration I would be in court in 2.5 seconds! That is the REAL world! How is it that we turn a blind eye when our children are concerned? How can we progress as a society towards loving each other, accepting each other, and honoring our differences if we don't even care enough to correct a small child? It is apparent that this little girl is only mirroring the pattern that she has been taught, but now is as good a time as any to address it. The longer you wait the more justified the child will feel in her RIGHT to express her frustration, anger, and displeasure with the world in whatever way she cares to. Emotions almost always get us in trouble, and if we are not given tools to control them...then they will control us! So here are some suggestions: 1- Take a deep breath (all parties involved should do this!) timeout is so that you can talk without tears or yelling 2- determine what the bully/disobedient child really wanted 3-Give an alternative to getting the desired outcome 4- Ask the child what choice they will make if the same situation arises, praise them for making a good choice and explain consequences of continuing to make poor choice. By giving alternative ways to achieve the desired goals, you are filling their toolbox to live a life full of friendships and success. Empower the child to BE better. This is obviously the ideal but if we don't strive for our ideals then we all disintegrate into selfish quarreling children!