Old or Wise...Maybe both?

So as a Christian, I often hear the phrase, "Church, is for old people." I am challenged on many fronts by this profound statement. Firstly, it is true that many churches are full of older people, a statistic posted by The Telegraph claims that the average age of churchgoers in England is 61! Now I happen to think that those who have survived life a lot longer than I probably have some insight on how to live, continue surviving, and be happier overall. So, should we (the younger generation) be flocking to church with our older generation? Do we know better, or is it that we need something more? I experienced years of church with the older generation and I admit it, I was bored, tuned out, and generally uninterested in anything the priest had to say. I eventually left my Catholic roots and set out on my own to explore life, spirituality, and excitement in it's many forms. After some time doing life, "on my own." I was experiencing a lot of success, I had a great job that paid the bills, I had many friends and acquaintances, I lived in Manhattan (one of the greatest cities), and I had several love interests...BUT I was still not fully joyful. I even suffered regularly with bouts of depression, and I couldn't understand why, but I knew something was missing. That's when I started going back to Catholic mass. I had a hunch that God was missing and I hoped to find him there. Unfortunately, after months of dutifully attending I still had not had an encounter with God. So as my pattern in life had been I started seeking out the alternatives to Catholicism. Eventually, I moved to Los Angeles and I found a new kind of church. Boy, was it different! The first time I left, I thought...that was NOT church, that was a rock concert with a cool "self-help" coach talking. Let's put it this way, I was not bored but I wasn't sold that this was church! I mean where was the alter boys, incense, droning organ music etc? Eventually I did have a meaningful encounter with God and He revealed a little part of what life was like with Jesus at my side. All of a sudden it didn't matter what I was facing, I had an unshakable captain steering the ship, I was fearless and at peace! Now, several years later, I know what I see in all those 61 year olds! It is the same unshakable faith that they know where they are going and they know who is driving. Although, we don't attend the same kinds of churches we still attend and pay homage to a God of love, honor, majesty, and incredible grace. I encourage all those who, let's say are under the age of 61, to find your church. There is a lot of variety, so don't be afraid to go looking for God...He will lead you to HIS home for you. Be blessed and happy Sunday.

Stop talking...start listening.

So interestingly several passages of scripture have been in the mix lately. Anytime, I hear the same passage or at least one with the same message in close proximity my ears perk up and I think..."Okay, God I know you are trying to say something!" Lately here are a few of the passages that have crossed my path: 1- Fools multiply words 2- Be still and know that I am God 3- One of the first steps you can take in improving your communication is stop talking and start listening! Hmmmm...I realized that I do a lot of talking. I already knew this about myself, Haha! I love to talk and I feel very uncomfortable with those awkward lulls of silence that happen when two people don't know each other that well. I have recently been in a couple of groups where I don't know hardly anyone and I find myself blah blah blabbing on and on about absolutely nothing. I find that this is a skill I have honed over many years...The ability to talk to a wall for hours and keep myself entertained. But these few phrases got me thinking, "What am I missing out on by not listening more?" I tried it out at a youth gathering last night, which I realize may have not been the ideal starting point (Teenagers don't exactly jump at the chance to talk about their lives, especially if they don't know you AND you are an adult). Regardless, I did hear some pretty compelling stories about heartache, pain, and amazing aspirations to achieve great things. It was nothing short of miraculous that I got to chat with them about their dreams, their daily life, and some of the dreadful things they were going through. Speechlessness is not a trait I often have, but I didn't really know how to respond so I stayed silent. Could this be the beginning of a life of quiet solitude? Probably not, but at least I realize I can and should keep my mouth shut more often :)

A 5 year old bully! WHAT?

I just had tea with a close friend of mine that was distressed over a situation her daughter encountered at school. She explained that she had witnessed a little girl loudly shout at a classmate, "Why did you hug her?" The victim stated that she hugged her because she was her friend. The bully replied, "I don't want you hugging her, or I won't talk to you ever again." The victim looked dumbfounded and anxious. My friends daughter was the hugee and also felt a bit uncomfortable with the situation. Over the next few weeks the bullying escalated from "I won't talk to you," to spitting on other girls at the school including my friends child. Actions were taken to speak to the teacher to monitor the bully and yet still things went from bad to worse with very little changes being made. My friend asked that a meeting be called between the teacher and the parents of the bullying child so that they can all have an open discussion about appropriate behavior/consequences etc. The teacher explained that she had had a chat with the bully's parents and they are hoping things will get better. My question is why is there even a consideration for tolerating this behavior? If I were to spit on someone out of anger or frustration I would be in court in 2.5 seconds! That is the REAL world! How is it that we turn a blind eye when our children are concerned? How can we progress as a society towards loving each other, accepting each other, and honoring our differences if we don't even care enough to correct a small child? It is apparent that this little girl is only mirroring the pattern that she has been taught, but now is as good a time as any to address it. The longer you wait the more justified the child will feel in her RIGHT to express her frustration, anger, and displeasure with the world in whatever way she cares to. Emotions almost always get us in trouble, and if we are not given tools to control them...then they will control us! So here are some suggestions: 1- Take a deep breath (all parties involved should do this!) timeout is so that you can talk without tears or yelling 2- determine what the bully/disobedient child really wanted 3-Give an alternative to getting the desired outcome 4- Ask the child what choice they will make if the same situation arises, praise them for making a good choice and explain consequences of continuing to make poor choice. By giving alternative ways to achieve the desired goals, you are filling their toolbox to live a life full of friendships and success. Empower the child to BE better. This is obviously the ideal but if we don't strive for our ideals then we all disintegrate into selfish quarreling children!

How easy it is to NOT say hello

I took the kids to the playground this afternoon, mostly for my own sanity! It was a gorgeous fall day and I thought some fresh air and sunshine was just what the doctor ordered. The kids immediately were drawn in by two other children of similar ages climbing on one of the amazing playground installations near our house. The children's mother was busy on her phone sitting alone at a picnic table. I was in need of a little activity myself, so I encouraged the kids to go on the round-a-bout (merry-go-round for the Americans) and pushed them as fast as my legs could go. Then we moved from station to station until eventually the other Mom walked over to assist me in my playground mayhem. It was a curious thing that she came and stood next to me but was reluctant to introduce herself, even though I had already coordinated introductions for our kids. Eventually it was left up to me, "Hello, they are having a blast together!" I said with a smile. "Yes, we've already been down this thing about 10 times, although I can't quite get them to the end. I wasn't really running fast enough." She sheepishly admitted. We continued chatting as our children ran all over playing and making up new games. I found out that she used to work with horses and had just recently had to put one of her ponies down. I was empathetic toward her even though I would not be described as an animal lover. At any rate, we had a really lovely chat and it made me feel like a person. I got to have an adult conversation for a few minutes that will probably be quickly forgotten however, just think if we hadn't said hello! All that time would have been spent politely staring and smiling at each other...HOW BORING! When in doubt have the clout!

Inspired by a teen!

I am in general easily inspired to do good, but recently I was floored by a young girl in our church's youth group and her success in raising money and awareness for human trafficking. She partnered with a friend and in a short time raised 500.00 for her chosen charity. The amazing thing was that I had done the exact same thing with a group of Moms and we have barely hit 100.00! Her conviction to continue is astounding as she already met her quota and then some. This lovely lady reminded me that those are the people you WANT to follow, support, involve. They are finishers! We are not by our very nature generous people so my hat goes off to her parents who have raised, trained, and been an example of what is lacking in so many of us. Thank you.

Sick Days and TV marathons

I spent 85% of my day yesterday laying down, either on the couch or in my bed. Yes, even with two young children to care for all day! It was such a challenge to keep my eyes open, therefore, contrary to my usual dose of around an hour of tv per day, my children got a huge helping of the likes of Disney Jr, and Cbeebies. What I observed through my feverish state was that while my kids were being entertained by the TV life was amazing! I could actually rest and they were content and seemed happy. As the day wore on however, they were far more fussy, whining, and had more misbehavior than on days where they are engaged outdoors, and through school time, story time...etc. I reviewed numerous psychiatric analysis of this phenomenon from the likes of the American Psychiatric association and a published articles in the NY Times, that there is a link between TV exposure and childhood aggressive behavior. If that isn't reason enough to turn off the TV, I don't know what is. Thank God my fever broke and so today I plan to make sure the kiddos get plenty of entertainment from good old Mom! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/09/health/09iht-snvital.1.7815333.html?_r=0 http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/abn/67/2/193/

Halloween Horrible's

If there was any season I wish that I had the remote control to fast forward through it would be Halloween. I have now spent a couple of days passing store windows full of gruesome headless monsters, creepy cauldrons, and horrifying calculated cackles! I'm on edge everywhere trying to protect my children from being scared senseless and selfishly trying to protect my own precious sleep. Halloween is thought to have started with the Celts tradition of Samhain where they would dress in costumes, light bonfires, and dance around to ward off roaming ghosts. It also marked the start of the long dark, cold winter which was at the time associated with death. These are ALL things I would not want my kids to brood over, so my question is how did this holiday become something that children are the primary participants? After a little research I found that in America during the late 1800's there was a shift to make Halloween less about warding off ghosts and fortune telling but more about a community event. Families and parents were encouraged to remove the ghoulish costumes and traditions for more wholesome celebrations of the autumn harvest. Between 1920 and 1950 acts of vandalism and trickery became common events at the community parades and events. Trick or Treating was revived as families in theory could prevent "trickery" by offering the youth that were associated with the acts of vandalism and terror by offering sweets. Now that the ground work had been laid for one night of sweet scavenging for the mere price of a cute costume, was born the ever growing industry of Halloween (nearly $6 billion annually) As for me I'm considering investing in rose colored glasses for me and my children!! For more history on Halloween and it's traditions check out http://www.history.com/topics/halloween

So I realize I haven't posted in nearly a year and I felt it was time to reignite my passion to write! Yet, again! We will see how long my devotion to an early rising paired with writing will last. Haha At any rate, I just wanted to share a thought I had about self worth as it relates to identity and image. Growing up I was always fairly self confident comparatively speaking, and still I struggled as many women do with dissatisfaction about my appearance. Even only a few years ago I would look in the mirror and see all the flaws - The uneven skin tone, the occasional breakout, the ever growing collection of wrinkles...you can see how this list can be come inexhaustible! I was quickly becoming one of those people who could never be satisfied. I had gotten on the eternal treadmill striving towards perfection. Then I watched a video/message given by Francis Chan's Awe Factor video on God's unlimited creative genius. Then it hit me..."Hey God made me too! AND in His image no less" It filled my heart with love and joy that I was beloved by such an awesome supreme God. In the face of the One who made the stars, the sunsets, the oceans, carefully designing each one and then chose to create human beings in His own image WOW! It gave me a new perspective on my daily mirror habit...GOD does NOT see what I see. He see's his creation, His artwork, His family. Just like I don't see my Grandmother's wrinkles as a flaw...they are what makes her beautiful. Hopefully we all can look in the mirror each day and ask that we see ourselves and each other through the Divine Lens.