English Hibernation

It is 5 AM here in England and I have been trying to sleep for the last hour. I finally succumbed to the fact that that wasn't going to happen so I decided to wrap up in my coziest robe, make a cup of tea (decaf of course), and write to the blogosphere. Looking out my window at the bare trees tonight reminded me that we all go through seasons where we are mere shadows of our fuller selves. I wonder if I am in one of those seasons right now? The trees are not bursting with life like they do in the spring and summer, but they are hibernating. I feel like that is how my life is right now...I'm hibernating. That is not to say that I am not going out, meeting new friends, and throwing parties. No that would be inhuman in my family! I guess it is more of a lack of making the most of every day. Each day has been like the last 13 miles of a marathon, I'm just hoping to make it through one more. That itself is depressing, that I'm not celebrating each step and taking a look around on my run over here in the UK. There really is no place like home. Although, we did have an amazing philosophical conversation with new friends last night, that definitely would not have occurred at home! The conversation ended with a very open and somewhat emotional testimony of an unlikely friend who happens to be a Muslim born Pakistani. It surprised me what his family had been through in this "civilized" nation. He described for us several personal accounts of racism and hate crimes that the Caucasian English community that he lived in committed. I have to give his parents credit that even though their sons experienced great brutality at the hands of ignorant fools...they taught their children to handle each other and their society with "turn the other cheek" mentality. Just one example that his brother, who happens to be in a wheelchair, was getting money at a cash machine and a robber pushed him out of his chair, stole his cash, and then left him on the ground in the rain. The horrifying part was NOT that the crime was committed, criminals already have a clouded moral compass...it was that no one came to his rescue because he was Pakistani. People stood by and watched a man get robbed and then watched him drag himself through the rain soaked streets to his wheel chair and climb back in! I could not believe what I was hearing...I'm sure our friends had a great view of the back of my mouth as it sat gaping open for most of his accounts. I cannot say with certainty, that if my children were subject to similar attacks that I would have displayed such "Christian" values. The truth is that we are called to LOVE one another, God doesn't say love those who think like us, talk like us, or look like us. All in all were are on a journey, God is at the helm of mine, and although I don't feel like I am flourishing at the moment, maybe I am just hibernating for the winter. Come spring I'll break through the cold hard earth to reveal the first daffodil that relieves us all and gives hope that warm sunny days are ahead.

Too busy to serve?

So my hubby, the wonderful man that he is, has been traveling and working his tail off for the last month. This has left me with the kiddos solo! Now this presents a unique situation where I become twice as busy, and could easily make the decision to a) take a trip to the in-laws for help or b) cancel all of my usual volunteer efforts. I opted for c) continue in my efforts to serve my community as best I can. It has proved very rewarding! I learned that I can choreograph when pressure is applied. I also learned that you MAKE time...actually God makes time to complete what HE had planned for you! Like launching a new philanthropic organization in Norwalk! Community Plates is my newest volunteer organization that I am thrilled to be participating with. So if any of you have ever had any experience in the hospitality or food industry you know that there is a tremendous amount of waste right? What Community Plates does is coordinate food rescue to bless those that are most in need! I love this idea...from Dumpster to Dining:) Learn how you can help at www.communityplates.org!

Fear Not, for I am with you.

What do I fear? Losing my family, someone hurting my kids, financial strife...and a multitude of smaller worries. Anxiety WAS a way of life for me, I was named class "worry wart" in the fourth grade and lived up to that nickname for most of my life. I lived in a constant state of stress to achieve, succeed, be perfect, be on time, be beautiful, be smart, etc etc etc. I was always one corner away from total failure as a person, until I totally surrendered to God's way. After that I was able to relax, and know that it really didn't matter if I didn't: get the part, find the guy, have a perfect smile, be a huge success, my list was endless! The wonderful thing I found was that Christ's love never fails no matter how imperfect I am. So randomly over the past couple of weeks Isaiah 41:10, "10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.", has been popping up. I look at these words and am even more comforted, by my God. No matter what tomorrow brings, He will strengthen me, help me, and uphold me. How awesome is that? This life is full of worry producing thoughts, but put those aside because..."I am your God" It's that simple.

The Call To Arms

Roman Soldier:
Sons of the King, fellow heirs to the glorious riches of the heavenly realms, servants to the Lord and Master of the Sea and Skies, chosen Warriors of the light, Rise and come forth. Men of the House of the Lord, Rise, and receive your commission to battle.
My brothers for too long we have waited, and watched as our adversary runs rampant and unchecked. We can no longer allow the Enemy and His dark army to seduce, and deceive our daughters and our wives, we can no longer let the stench of death overcome us and render us paralyzed. Or allow the filth of this world to tarnish the righteousness of our Father and corrupt the minds of our sons. A complacent heart is not in me! I am full of unrest and an unquenchable thirst for battle. We are a people in bondage to a tyrannical cunning emperor of the dark night! I say…NO MORE. The Lord God has called us to put on His Armor. We must reach out brother to brother and break the bonds of sin, we must join forces and unite our families, we must not waver in the face of terror.
When fear takes hold of you remember the awesome, unlimited power of the Lord God. He who revealed his absolute authority over sin and death when he resurrected Christ, is beckoning us to walk with Christ in triumph. Reject your half hearted faith and answer the call to fight. Put on the belt of truth that will set you free from bondage. Pull over the breastplate of righteousness which will make straight your path. Steady your feet by consuming the gospel of peace. Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one, and wear the helmet of salvation which is your inheritance. Lastly, arm yourself with the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. Know that our protection is guaranteed, if we only agree to place our feet on the battlefield and echo the cry of victory first heard on the cross.
What lies ahead for us we know is terrifying. Once we take up our shields, and arm ourselves for the battle, we will be sounding the alarm for war. It will no longer be possible to hide in the shadows. Our beacon will shatter the darkness, calling out to others to arm themselves and fight. Fight for our freedom, fight for our families, fight for our Father! Who are we who stand in the gap? Who are we who march toward certain obliteration of our flesh? We are Christians! We are Christians! We are Christians!

Still, Quiet, things I still need to learn

So I've been thinking on how hard it is for me to sit still and be quiet. It could be nearly impossible for someone with my personality. I have already survived two pregnancies where I was forced to stay couch/bed ridden for weeks! I learned nothing of how to take those moments, relish them, and listen to your soul speak. I truly feel God, being the all-knowing executive He is, required this of me in attempt to teach me these skills. Alas, I am still so stubborn that those lessons evaded me! Today I am fasting and praying with my church community for Spiritual Renewal week. One of my goals this year is to, not only be able to sit still and be quiet, but to enjoy it. I know this is one of the ways God will be able to guide me, talk to me, and challenge me to do more. I am always up for an adventure so here I go into the void of stillness to find a quest!